


A Story About You

by Tolpen



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: EPIC FIGHT, HeadQuarters Verse, Narrated by Taedal, Origin Story, POV Second Person, Starting a new character, Unexpected Plot Twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 15:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13461429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolpen/pseuds/Tolpen
Summary: You have finally got your hands on the new and wonderful World of Warcraft datadisc - Broken and Distant Worlds, which is said to be absolutely awesome. You just can't wait to play the new introduced race, Ino, who happen to be demons. A playable demon race, now how cool is that? A lot! You are going to try out and I, Taedal, the Leader of the Golden Torch, am going to narrate it for you, how awesome of an Adventurer your Ino is.This story sadly isn't narrated in the voice of Freddie Mercury, neither Chris Metzen, who was the second best option, because one of them is dead and the other probably doesn't even know I exist. So Instead I have a voice of a 19 old girl who is too excited about this and speaks sometimes too fast to be understood.





	A Story About You

You start your game for the first time since you have updated it. The last half an hour you have been anxiously sitting at the edge of you chair, waiting for your Battle.net to download at least the bare required minimum so you could play it. So here you go. The time is now.

The loading screen is, of course, new. It shows what seems to be a crash landing of an airplane or maybe a space ships. It used to look like three triangles stuck together, resembling a bit a throwing dart. Now it is a wreckage, still smoldering at places and sometimes there are light blue or fel green sparkles. The music in the background is yet another remix of The Legends Of Azeroth slowed down somewhat.

Whatever, you log in and go make a new character. Here is another change – the promised new playable race. An icon of a horned cute fella with messy hair is placed right under that picture of that Pandaren guy. What would a new expansion be for if you couldn't try that out? So you click on the new race dude.

The character creation page kindly informs you that the race is called Ino, throws a bit of lore about them you don't bother reading because seriously, there are people who read that stuff? The males seem a bit fragile and out of place with the background being a wasteland made literally out of bones and quite cool red waterfall which could be blood and most likely is. The females are huge, almost as tall as Trolls, only less slouched so they actually appear taller, and they are... Ugly, you suppose. Not what the females in World of Warcraft usually look like. Oh, and they are flat like an ironing board.

Okay, so you've picked your gender and now for the Classes. Hey! Heeey, what the hell is this? What do you even mean there are only 7 Classes for Ino? Ugh, fine, but this is really too nerfed. You obviously aren't choosing the new Necromancer, you are saving this Hero Class for some more cool race than this. In the end you just decide to roll with what you play usually. Can't go wrong with that. Customizing that new Ino takes a long time, you want to explore the features a bit and well, that's always that, creating a new character takes long. You get quite an okay name for that character, but it takes three tries, because two of your previous ideas are already taken. Ughh, some things never change, do they? Just... Just Enter World. Here we go. A brand new Ino. Cheers.

 

Hey cool, a cinematic. You have the urge to skip it and just go playing, but this is the first time you see this, so why not to give it a try. In the view is a fleet of the weird spaceships from the loading screen but they are not crashed. And you are certain they are spaceships, because they are floating at the edge of a world. The world is, as it seems, the bone wasteland.

As the camera pulls out and rolls across barren land of bones and blood rivers, an ominously deep voice narrates: “Rebellion. Against your own kind. Against the Burning Legion. Under the leadership of Dreadlord Taedal, the Golden Torch broke free of Sargeras' reign and turned against him. The war eventually brought you here, to Eleor, the land of your ancestors before the Legion conquered it. It is just a matter of time until you are found out even here. Archimonde's most trusted Dreadlord, Luxien, and her twisted demon army are after you. You must fight on.”

Wow, that was really deep and totally not made on the go, you think, bout you appreciate that all the gigantic bones and fallen skeletons and waterfalls made of blood were included because it was not creepy at all and you certainly aren't planning on spending half an hour of your time fishing in those red rivers, because who would waste their time on fishing? You would. You are absolutely guilty of wanting to fish in a river of blood. Which is a terrible waste of time, but since designing all those rivers took me one hell of my time, I really appreciate you liking the rivers. However, I have to disappoint you, because for the first 10 levels you aren't going to see a Fishing Trainer and then you aren't going to get here for the following 100 or so, and if you do, the first Voidspawn is going to have your brand new Ino Adventurer for a breakfast. Anyway, that was a spoiler. Back to now, if you can focus on that, please, because I am at least trying to.

 

Very well, intro time is over. You, respective your awesome Ino character, is standing in the middle of what seems to be a Legion invasion point, you remember those from Hellfire Peninsula, next to you is standing an Imp which doesn't have the standard Imp model, instead it is larger and black, has fancier clothes and all in all it looks like a huge metal fan. The music I mean, not the air cooler. You see the Imp is named Cheret and it has a quest for you. Also I refuse to refer to Cheret as it, because he's been a long time a friend of mine and I understand that you refer to all Imps as it as if they were some kind of animals but they aren't, alright?

You take the quest and don't even bother reading it, it just wants you to go to speak to somebody named Lylil and while you are at it bring her a Report Scroll. After angrily turning off the tutorials and displaying Action Bars, you consult the map. It tells you that you are at the far west point of a zone named Bonehills, namely in Defense Point: Pride. Fine. Cool. Bonehills are part of Broken and Distant Worlds world map and that place is apparently floating in the Twisting Nether just like Outland. That's... quite neat, you think.

QuestHelper leads you to a nearby building where you get the scroll and then to another building where there is Deathcommander Lylil standing. She looks like a crosbreed between regular demonic Nathrezim and a Death Knight, which is exactly what she is. You give her the scroll, complete the quest and that results into a bunch of more quests popping out. And because you are a little leveling Ino, you accept them all and head out, slashing your way thorough the void, demons, and undead.

Six levels later you are at the far eastern point of a little floating island of the Bonehills and you wonder what the hell did just happen and where is Cheret. That's what you get for not reading the quests, you dumbass. Sorry, sorry, I didn't want to be mean, it's just... The next time you should read the quest text, alright? It tells a story. It isn't meant for you to run from place to place, clicking things and killing other things that are moving. Okay, since it's you, I am going to summarize it up. Because it's you and you are special and stuff. But the next time you read the quests, okay? Deal? Deal.

The Defense Point: Pride has served for quite a time as Golden Torch's hiding spot slash base, because in the last encounter with Legion left us really, really in a bad shape. We found out that my older sister Luxien, who serves as a sort of a Mad Scientist in the Legion, is after us. Well, we had known that for some time, but apparently Sargeras is locked somewhere out and can't do a thing, Kil'jaedan is out of the game as well, and we all know that Archimonde is still not over the blown up tree. Which leaves the Legion without a proper leadership. And Luxien understood it as having free space for her operations, therefore things she wasn't allowed to do before are now a great idea to put in motion. For example forming the Dark Contract. Which is a pact between her and some of the Void Lords of mutual help. So a bunch of void-infused demons are now after us and even worse, they found us, which is exactly where you began playing a major role in it, because you went and evacuated the Defense Point: Pride. Together we have made it to the Heavenly Landing, that is this small nethership filled settlement we are currently in on the small floating isle, but in the process we had to leave Cheret behind with a bunch of other heroic Ino to act as a distraction and to cover our movement. Cheret and I had quite a moving dialogue about him staying there but you didn't bother to read it. I am not going to repeat it, anyway Cheret is going to be fine and you are going to meet him much, much later.

The thing here is that Heavenly Landing isn't our base, but one of the Dark Contract. This is not a recapitulation. I am actually standing next to you, well next to your Ino character, and explaining our next plan in person. You have noticed me before, mostly because I don't have the standard dreadlord model, so I look like an important character. As I am now saying that we should steal this fleet of netherships, you get bored by the speech and decide to click on me to get to know all my voice lines. You stop it when you get thorough the rotation of hellos and greetings, because I say: “Hands off my pixels.” Well, actually, it was the “Unless you want to take it somewhere... private.” which embarrassed you a great deal.

 

There is a little problem with my plan, I notice, as we approach the netherships. There is Luxien and her personal guard of mad inventors, void infused weird whatevers, and necromancers in our way. You must admit that Luxien is really beautiful, even with the swirling void tattoo on her skin which doesn't match the fel tattoos. You see those because she is wearing something that looks like black one piece swimsuit with a really, really deep leverage. Okay. You can, like, stop staring at her. Really, just a glance is okay, you don't have to gaze at her like that. Frozen fel fire, stop staring at my sister like that, that's creepy. And... And... Okay, take your sweet time if you need. Could you, please, at least stop drooling? She is my sister after all. Sexy main villain, sure, but my sister as well, there is something we call sibling solidarity.

Keeper Damou, the pretty succubus guy, you are quite sure that male succubi are incubi and I completely agree, gives you a quest to sneak up behind the enemy lines and distract Luxion and her minions, so we all can get on the ships. Once Damou is on board, he will teleport you to himself. This guy, another Ino named Zener is going to help you. You remember Zener, as you were moving the base from place to place, he served as Inkeeper.

Since you have promised you are from now on going to pay attention to what the quests say, you read the text twice, but it doesn't say anything I haven't already told you about it. So you read the objectives: Sneak behind the enemy lines, Cause havoc, Use Zener as the ultimate distraction, Board Mooneater. That looks really simple. You wonder what the ultimate distraction means, though. Surely it isn't foreshadowing anything, is it? He is just going to... You don't know. Dress in drag and dance the hula? Hold on, did I just make a Lion King reference?

You go behind the enemy lines. Zener follows you and doesn't pull any agrro, which you are thankful for, but it also means you have to fight the few skeletons on your own, which you are less thankful for. Part one of the quest is completed. Then you get a Bottle of Very Suspicious Green Bubbles, I am not kidding, that's what its name is, and you throw it on the Necromancer Overseer. That causes a havoc, which means part two of the quest is completed. It also means those necromancers are now after you, but Zener proves himself to be a very skilled spellcaster, you notice he is casting Warlock spells and you think that is just not fair because you couldn't choose Warlock as a Class for your Ino, and now this background NPC can be a warlock just so? Outrageous! And he is also better than you in killing the necromancers, which makes it even worse.

After a while the Necromancer Overseer gets himself together and is no longer paralyzed by the green bubbling goo you threw at him. When you least expect it, he jumps into the middle of the battlefield and stuffs Zener's head into a weird spiky helmet. Poor Zener begins to scream irrationality, it is a no so long and painful that you think for a while that Darth Vader told him about his father. Everyone, Luxien included, watches him as he is yelling in despair and anger. Well, everyone except the Golden Torch, because we aren't dumb chickens. Instead of just standing around like tools and staring we quickly enter the ships and set off. Just as Luxien begins to exclaim that this is wonderful, wonderful, and then to ponder what she is going to do with you, a portal appears. It is labeled simply as Damou's portal, so you click it and it teleports you on nethership Mooneater.

 

Everybody is sad about Zener, there is a short speech about his sacrifice, it is mentioned something that when you cut down the trees, you send splinters flying, and really it isn't important nor emotional. You do five quests about the ship maintenance as it sinks into the Twisting nether, which is quite boring and is just bringing stuff to Damou, it doesn't reveal anything interesting nor important, because Damou loves to be secretive and his comments are always “Hmm... Interesting.” or “Now this gets me curious.” and “Ah, I see.” I admit that these five quests were scripted purely for ensuring that every Ino Adventurer would be at least level 10 upon finishing this story line.

It gets far more interesting with the sixth ship quest, when the ship emerges mack to the Great Dark Beyond but in a completely different place than it was before. Out of the window you can now see Azeroth and some other planet. You know it is Argus but your Ino doesn't. I also shouldn't know it is Argus, but when it comes to World of Warcraft, I just happen to know things I shouldn't know.

The quests want you to look on the main screen, so you find it and click on it to take a look. It cuts into a cinematic – Seven ships appear in space with a flash of green light, you suppose that is what emerging from the Twisting Nether looks like from the outside. The camera pulls out to show a fleet of way bigger and more dangerously looking ships which have the Burning Legion written all over them, metaphorically. They shot the front stolen nethership down and it topples towards Azeroth and eventually disappears in smoke.

The scene on the ship has dramatically changed. Everyone is now fighting against the void infused demons and undead and necromancers. Keeper Damou and his quest, which simply says Follow Damou, lead you to the back of the ship where is a great hall, possibly the ship's storage room. There you see Zener. Because you have been to the Ice Crown Citadel, Tier 10 looks quite good so why not to have it, you immediately notice he is now using the Lich King's model, only recolored in fel green instead of icy blue.

Then the two of you proceed to have the most epic fight a level 9 character could ever have. The quest says Defeat the Lich King, so you are doing your best. You nearly die, twice, but you manage to bring him to the last sliver of his health, the next strike should do him. And then he traps you in... The condition says it is Fel Ice with the description “Helpless and immobilized, held at the Lich King's mercy.” Zener spits his guts at you and gives you the luxury guilt trip, complete with a guide and tasting. Which I have to say is very impressive for someone who had never been to villain school and therefore made this speech from scratch without any preparation and introduction to the matter whatsoever. Or rather, I would say it, but at the moment I am trying to navigate a shot-thorough nethership, while everything around me is on fire and everybody is screaming, to the softest place to crash land on Azeroth. I believe I could say I am a little busy.

However, nobody had ever told Keeper Damou that people giving speech are unattackable until they finish, because he rushes in and bashes Zener in head with his Orb of Visions. That sends the Lich King unconscious, you slightly doubt that is possible, btu since it has just saved your life, you aren't going to complain now. The necromancers begin to evacuate by teleporting away, taking Zener with them. Which leaves behind only their undead mindless minions, which you help to get rid off in the following quest.

Now when the ship is clean and Zener not a threat, Damou lands the ship at Descension Point, a small island near the Forgotten Isle, a new location of Pandaria. You help to recover me from the crashed ship. I thank you: “Thank you.” Then I give you a quest to help building our new base on a cliff. We got on the cliff in a short cutscene by netherships. The quest just requires you to get some wood and stones, so you just walk around, clicking on stones and trees, and you also retrieve the Golden Torch banner. You bring all of those back to me, which completes the quest.

The next one starts: “While you were gone, we had visitors,” I say. “This planet is called Azeroth, as it seems, and they don't look upon Demons much kindly. However, I managed to convince the local sapient beings that we do not mean threat to them and are in fact fighting against the Bruning Legion. There are two notable factions whose help would be significant: The Horde and the Alliance.” You suppose this explains why there are Sylvanas Windrunner and Anduin Wrynn standing nearby, caught in a heated argument. “While they are willing to tolerate us here, they do not seem to trust us. I think that helping their causes would change their opinion on us in a good way. I have decided to form two groups – The Firewalkers will go with the Alliance, while Ashwardens will support the Horde. Since you have helped us to get here in the first place, I think you should lead one of them. You can choose which one.”

While you are deciding which faction to join, I'll go and get between the King and the Warchief before they kill each other, so if you excuse me. Once you are decided, tell Damou, he will teleport you to either Thunderbluff or Ironforge, those two capitals are known to be quite peaceful and it should be a safe place to start.

See you in 100 levels!

 


End file.
